Sex and Mental Illness

Mental health issues can have a great impact on sexual health. Sex is sometimes considered a taboo subject for people and getting them to talk about it can be difficult. The effects of mental health on ones sex life can also be an embarrassment, from behaviors that lead to risky sexual practices to loss of libido from depression or the medications used to treat mental illness. These impacts can greatly distress a person and even sometimes cause rifts in relationships.

I actually got my start with blogging by blogging about sex toys and general sexual health. While that blog was pretty much a flop it still gave the chance to research all sorts of sex related topics. One area that was of note was mental health and sex. I noticed while researching that many of the bloggers who wrote about had either depression or anxiety. I saw nothing from bloggers who suffered from bipolar, schizophrenia or schizoaffective. I'm sure that there are those out there blogging about sex but either I failed to encounter the blog or they remain silent about their illness and how it might impact sex.

Hypersexuality is defined as a sudden increase in sexual urges and activities. Hypersexuality can either be a stand alone diagnosis or a symptom of certain illnesses such as borderline personality disorder (BPD) or it can occur during the manic state of bipolar and schizoaffective. While other illnesses can cause an increase desire and need or sex these two are the big culprits.

It also rarely discussed even though it can have lasting negative consequences. The risk taking nature of hypersexuality places the person at risk of an unwanted pregnancy, disease and broken relationships. That is not counting the blow to self esteem that may result. Cheating, sex with multiple partners, unsafe sex and even engaging sexual activity that one would usually not be interested in are all possibilities when it comes to hypersexuality.

There really isn't any single good solutions for hypersexuality as the nature of these illnesses may make it difficult to control. That doesn't mean that one shouldn't try though. First off if you are a female it might be smart to use long acting birth control. This can help prevent at least one consequence of a hypersexuality episode, pregnancy. Also have regular checkups with gynecologist to ensure sexual health. Men, you to should be checked regularly also. I also recommend keeping condoms handy (all genders). By having them close at hand you increase the odds that they will be used.

As embarrassing as this topic might be to discuss with your therapy team I can not stress enough how important that you bring this up. By making your treatment team aware of all of your symptoms you increase the odds of a more accurate diagnosis and treatment. They may be able to help with ideas on forming a safety plan. They will also be able to help work through some of the emotions of the aftermath of such indiscretions. So again, please tell your Pdoc bout any issues that you might be having in regards to hypersexuality.

Hypersexuality might also manifest as in increase in porn consumption and masturbation. You might find yourself craving sex more and more and views large amounts of porn and masturbating for hours a day. This is generally how I get hit with it. I even once joked that an easy way to tell if I am manic is to check the browser history, if ya see a ton of porn then yeah, I might be manic. Of course a mania also caused me to buy quite a bit of sex toys at one point.

Other forms of risky behavior might include sending nude photos or offering to meet up with strangers. For this I have used a buddy systems of sort. I have a friend who helps reality check decisions before I follow through. So if you have a friend who suffers from a mental illness(especially Borderline and Bipolar related ones)it might be best voice any reservations you might have about their behavior. The key is to do so in a way that doesn't come across as nagging or authoritarian.

Now not everyone who hooks up people, sends nudes or explores alternate sexual practices is showing the symptom of a mental illness. It is not uncommon for people to engage in sexual activities with multiple partners and be hypersexual. It only becomes a symptom when it is drastically different form the persons normal baseline sexuality or in the case of Borderlines where relationships, both sexual and romantic are highly unstable and that they are seeking to fill the emptiness that they feel. Just like it is normal to regret a hookup or moment of exploration, it only becomes unhealthy if almost each and every sexual venture is filled with later regret. In that case it is important to seek professorial counseling to get to the root of why you continue to behave contrary to your deeply held beliefs.

The opposite of hypersexuality is complete loss of libido or even a loss of the ability to gain sexual arousal and/or orgasms. These issues can be brought on by depression, PTSD or be a side effect of medication. This can create serious issues in relationships besides also doing a number on self esteem.

Talk with your partner about these issues. Explain what might be the cause and ask for understanding and patience. It might help to go to couples counseling together. Also discuss this with your Dr. as it might a side effect of medication that you are taking to treat your illness. If it is the result of medication then perhaps switching medications might help. One of the many reasons why people stop taking psychiatric medications is because of the side effects so make sure that treatment team is fully aware of all side effects that you might be experiencing that that better informed decisions about medication changes can be made.

If medication can't be switched , or you are suffering from sexual dysfunction due to antidepressants or antipsychotics this is where I would recommend adding some sex toys to bedroom activities. Don't look at them as actual sex aids or replacements. Things like vibrators and dildos can become an extension of the person. This can help in cases where arousal may be slow to build or in the case of men a penis sheath can help satisfy your partner even if you have difficulty maintaining erections. Again open and honest communication is essential in this area. In my case toys are great as it allows me the extra time to become aroused and with a wand vibrator the needed extra stimulation to orgasm.

The important thing that all parties involved need to remember when it comes to sexual dysfunction is openness and understanding. It is no ones fault and it nothing to be ashamed of. Others are also experiencing this . Speak with your Dr to see if they have any suggestions, trust me they are not going to judge and might be able to tweak your medicine or even prescribe something to help (looking at you Viagra)

I plan on doing a serious of more in depth posts in relation to these topics. I know that this is a deeply personal topic, but I would love hear how you either deal with hypersexuality or overcome the sexual dysfunction that goes with mental illnesses and their treatments. I feel that more we discuss this topic the less taboo and embarrassing it becomes. I would also love to more conversations on how having bipolar, schizoaffective or schizophrenia, ocd, the personality disorders effects romantic and sexual relations. Far too often the conversations pertain more to depression, anxiety, ptsd while other mental illnesses get ignored.