Besides family issues having schizoaffective disorder presents challenges when it comes to working. I currently hold a part time low skill job. This job is both beneath my intellectual capacity and skill set. I work this job because it allows me to work in a relatively low stress environment. It also helps that it is close to where I live since I do not drive.
I don't drive
because I have a paranoid belief that I am going to be involved in an
accident. As a passenger I am able(or at least I try to) to meditate
and distract my mind of these thoughts. For years I held the belief
that this might be the result of some underlying anxiety disorder.
When I was diagnosed as having schizoaffective disorder it became
pretty clear that is yet another falsely held paranoid belief. Also
being easily distracted by stimuli in the environment means that I
would be a distracted driver, something that does not lend itself to
safe driving skills.
The lack of a
drivers license is somewhat of an issue with my family. They feel
that I should get one to gain better independence and relying less on
others. The problem is my paranoia is so great that it hinders any
chance of me actually achieving this. Thankfully my job is close
enough that should the need arise I could walk to and from it.
I say this job is
low skill because very little to no ability is needed to perform it.
This job can easily be performed while on autopilot. I currently
work in a laundry facility. The tasks of my job are pretty much the
same day to day and hardly ever vary by much. There is also little
need for interactions with others to perform my job and working a
steady set shift allows me to regulate both medication and sleeping
schedules. This job allows for a lowered stress way of earning some
basic money. Its not a lot and we barely scrape by but at least I am
not always stressed out by a day at work.
Would I like a
better paying job or more hours? Yes, but the risks to my stability
is too great Other jobs I have held also had there own obstacles from
erratic shift work that messed with my sleep schedule to massive
loads of stress that destabilized me.
Now that’s not say
that I have been fully symptom free working this job. In the past I
have had symptoms interfere with my job. Days where I was so
distracted that it was a struggle to complete my assigned duties. I
have had to go to work while mildly psychotic and try not let it show
that I was in the midst of fighting bizarre beliefs and constantly
reality checking everything.
Having laid back
management and absent administration helps a lot. It allows me some
breathing room if the need arises that psychosis or other symptoms
rise to a level where my job might actually be at stake to do strange
unusual behavior. For now most people at work just think that I am
quirky. That on the few occasions where I have talked of bizarre
topics it was believed due more to an odd sense of humor and not a
mental illness.
So for the time
being I will continue to underachieve and stumble through life with
as little stress as possible. I hope that sometime in the near future
that my situation will change and I can stay stable while working in
a more challenging environment befitting my intellect.
Comments
Post a Comment