Misconceptions related to Mental Illness

There are a lot of misconceptions out there about Mental Illness. Shockingly those who believe these myth and falsities are often those close to us. One would think that family, friends and loved ones would educate themselves about this topic, but nope, at least that is how it is within my own family. So here is a list of the misconceptions that drive me crazy (no pun intended) I have chosen to attempt to tackle this topic with a little humor.

1. Not every dream, every goal I have ever had is another symptom of my illness. My mother is the one that throws this out there the most. My love of writing and pursuit of it is always considered to be just another sign of my “craziness” (her words, not mine). For her the fact that I would love to published is nothing more than another side effect of a manic episode and something that I should just give up on. The same goes for pretty much any type of plan I have. I want to move, must be manic. I would love to go back to school, must be manic. I want a different job, must be manic. Wanna get a new hair cut, must be manic. Hell in her mind I must manic pretty much every day 365 days a year.

Yes my illness can cause manic states. I may have grandiose plans that may not be rooted in reality. Yes I will have a massively inflated view of myself and what I can accomplish. This does not mean that I will be in that frame of mind every single day of my life. Not all of my goals and hopes for the future are caused by a manic induced grandiose self. Like everyone else I have goals that I would like to pursue and talents that I would love to explore.

2. This is a companion to number 1. Not every damn choice I make is because of my mental illness. This again comes from my mother. Everything and anything is questioned. My choice of friends, the clothes I wear, the books I read, the music I listen to etc. And because my interests are not hers or even my sisters then they are wrong and proof positive that my mental illness rules my life.

This includes a hysterical conversation about me not wanting to vacation in Hawaii and having a desire to visit Europe instead. This was used as further proof that there is something wrong with me mentally. Yep you read that correctly, my mom actually uses this as an example of my mental illness and just how wrong I am. Never mind the fact that beaches bore me and I have a huge love of European history. Damn you mental illness for making it more desirable to walk around an ancient Roman city than sitting on a beach getting a sun burn.

3. All of my moods are not the result of my disorder.. I am human so I am going to have periods where events in my life will cause me anger, joy, sadness and a whole range of other human emotions. But I guess that is wrong and just another symptom of my illness and I should strive to be less emotional and more like an unfeeling robot.

4. Having mental illness is not my fault. I just love when I get compared to others and then the comment ends with “but you just had to have mental illness” or something to that effect. Yep it is something that I chose for myself. I willingly exchanged a normal adolescence for one filled with alternating between suicidal depression and periods of psychosis because well fuck it I could. I willing forced my self have delusion that have had a negative impact on my social life. I guess that is teenage rebellion at its finest.

I have also been guilt tripped many times over the year for the difficulties that my mental illness has caused and that it is such a shame I had to be the way I am. I have been accused of attention seeking and purposely setting out to destroy the family with my “foolish antics”. Yep because I had nothing better do to I thought a trip to the local psych ward would spice shit up a bit. Please note sarcasm.

5. Because I have mental illness does not mean that everything I say is a lie or just another delusion. Yep, everything that comes out of my mouth from relating how my day went to important matters such as insurance issues and general difficulties is nothing more that a figment of my own illness. Sure there are no hard feelings that everything I say is scrutinized and treated as lies, proof be damned.

I have also been told that every single memory I have of events is twisted. This includes things pertaining to reasons for hospitalizations, help that they tried to give me along with therapy. Never mind that I have access to my actual psychiatric records and what is written in those pages disputes their versions and affirms mine.

6. This sort of run counters to number 5 but is something that I have encountered with other members of the family. Not everything I say is serious and that having mental illness does not mean that I am not allowed to have a sense of humor. Yep in some eyes I have to lack any type of a sense of humor, or worse everything I say is serious because I am mentally ill. This means no jokes or telling any type of story that might be humorous. This also means that silly little facebook posts with memes about pretty much any topic must be deemed as the musing of an insane person and will quite likely result in a shitstorm with my family.

I have even had my family tell me about facebook posts that I made that were disturbing. Hysterical part is this what they called disturbing.

Yep something posted for fun to put a smile on peoples face was taken as disturbing. Same goes with a status update that I once made. Never did figure which one, even after setting close friend loose on my wall in search of any type of status that was deeply disturbing. They found nothing, just mundane musings and random posts. Not even the family member who made the accusation could pinpoint which post was the disturbing one when questioned.

7. My illness even though it a mental one should be treated with the same compassion and understanding like physical ones are. For my parents mundane things such as shopping at the mall and diner at TGI Fridays is vastly more important than being there to support your child with mental illness.

You see, being newly diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder(would be years before that changed to schizoaffective BTW) after a fun filled manic episode that involved a splash of psychosis that landed my ass in the local psychiatric ward is just plain selfish. They had things to do after all. Never mind the fact that the social worker would like to set up a meeting so that discharge plans can be set up, nope it far more appropriate to decline. Shopping and dinner is vastly more important than being there to support your selfish teenager who has mental illness.

I do understand that each hospitalization cost money, I am not stupid. My question is this, would they have still been angry at me if the illness that required my hospitalization was of a physical nature? Would it had been okay to make light of my symptoms if they were due to cancer or some other disease? I bet not, but being mad for a suicide attempt will help me get over the depression right? Laughing at the delusions that assaulted my mind is okay. I am not talking about them trying to lighten a serious discussion I am talking about full out making fun of and complete disappointment.

Another thing that really irks me is when it gets brought to my attention that during a period of psychosis I may have done things that I don't remember or said things that were completely “crazy” This is usually brought up with a shameful tone.

8. A kick in my ass will not cure me. Same goes for yelling at me and accusing me of not taking my medication, because well everyone knows that the pills would fix my brain and its pesky little issues over night. The thought that perhaps the medication I was on wasn't working is just silly. Lithium, the wonder pill works for every single person who is on it, thinking otherwise is just plain stupid. Never mind the fact that there is documentation that Lithium wasn't working for me and that my Psychiatrist charted that. Of course now that I know that I actually have schizoaffective disorder it explains why the medications were seeming not to work.

I bet by now you are wondering just how uneducated my family is. Well lets just say that my mother was a registered Nurse and my father was in law enforcement. Their ignorance of my mental illness and its treatment is mind blowing. My own mother still can not grasp that Lithium doesn't work for every individual. It is far is far more easier to make accusations of skipping meds and not following treatment plans. She holds on tightly to stigma as if its a security blanket. Her beliefs seem to be a weird mix of worse case scenario and full blown mental illness doesn’t exist. I am suppose to believe that my own therapist and Psych Dr. thought it was a brilliant idea to send an unstable young adult off to college. That the experience would somehow make me grow out this rather than overwhelm me and cause a mental breakdown.

My mother also being in the healthcare field also had connections that led to some breeches of confidentiality at the local Psych unit. She would use this information as ammo against me many times, but would twist the truth of it. Things such as the fact that I wouldn't go to sleep at bed time, no shit I was manic. Part of mania is a decreased need for sleep, one would think that the staff of a psychiatric unit would know this. Another thing she would bring up was that my behavior disturbed the other patients and that the unit staff didn't want me there. To clarify things this was a minimum secured adult unit that was tasked with holding a teenager in the grips of a serious psychosis. The rest of the patients were there for mostly anxiety related issues or depression. Out the twenty odd people who were on that unit during that stay I was the only one that was diagnosed with what is known as a Serious Mental Illness. I was also at least a decade younger than the rest of my fellow patients. This made connecting with them very difficult and also made things extremely uncomfortable during group therapy. The fact that the Psychiatrist had recommended a transfer to another hospital had absolutely nothing to do with childish behavior on my part like she claimed so much as wanting me in a secured unit that treated adolescents.

I have never really understood the angle that my family has when they act like this. Perhaps they think that it is possible to shame the mental illness out of me. But what it has done instead is make it more difficult for me to talk about my illness with others close to me. It has caused me to hide it and to even have a fear of treatment. It is also why at the time I have chosen not to tell them I actually have schizoaffective.

Yes telling them might help me explain why Lithium didn't work so well and might help them understand my behavior better but I also risk hearing this. “The Dr must mistaken, you are not a psycho.” And half of that statement is right, I'm not a psycho. I am just a person living with a serious mental health issue but I'm not much different than other non mentally ill people.

I have a job.

I have a family.

I pay rent and bills.

I pursue many different hobbies

I have friends.

See not that different. People with mental illness are no different. Our condition may be with our brains but that doesn't make it lesser than those with physical ailments. It doesn't mean that we should be shunned or shamed. If you ever wonder how you should treat a friend or loved one who has a mental illness ask yourself this, How would I threat them if the condition was physical (cancer, heart disease, diabetes, renal disease etc.)? Would shame them or love and support them?

BTW if you said shame them, you are a dick :P